Lessons learned in Isolation

Shobana Kataria - 6th week of isolation

I’m not someone who stays in a lot.

I’m up and in the gym early, by 6, at my desk working by 9, then out in the evening socialising or doing a class. That’s my normal routine.

The new normal is very different.

Now I’m in my house all day with no physical contact. It’s a test of my ability to deal with my mental state, moment by moment. On my own, I overthink and analyse everything, so much so that at times my four walls drive me crazy.

Yet paradoxically, this isolation period has been, for me, about people, connecting and about discovery. Discovering the things I will never take for granted again and through discovering the dark recesses of myself, also discovering a resilience I never knew I had. It’s made me acutely aware of how much I am connected to people through the ordinary and the mundane. The hairdresser, the electrician, gardener, cleaner, I realise I have never valued all these people, or how much I enjoy their company and the passing interactions.

I miss the gathering together of people to mark the passages of life, births, and being there when a baby is born to celebrate with a new mother and father. The weddings, the glorious joining together of two lives. A birthday party, to share with someone you love, as they pass a milestone, the joyous part at the end when everyone relaxes, the shoes come off, and we wile away the last hours together. Some lost in dance, others in conversation.

Never again will I take a party for granted.

Nor the sacred space of a funeral, where we support the family and the loved ones. To share in their grief. And together, get to the place where we all realise the love they left behind is the only thing worth leaving.

I have missed two funerals during the last 6 weeks and it hurts.

The daily connections. Bumping into people in the gym, grabbing a quick coffee, friends with whom I catch up over a meal, ones where we go and do a class together.

Never will I take for granted a class or a workshop. Nor the connection of a coffee chat or the pleasure of breaking bread with friends.

Yet, so much has opened up for me these last few weeks.

No travel has meant that I’m now see my neighbours, we check in with each other each daily. Pop out of our houses at the same time, we all come out of our houses, chat and sometimes bring a glass of wine, or food to share. I finally met my neighbours and found a community right on my doorstep. When this is over, these connections will not be lost.

I’ve connected to people I pass on my walks through the polite glances, the quick hello, or the short chat which asks, “How are you coping?”.

I’ve discovered myself to be someone who has fallen in love with her house, and made it a home rather than somewhere to stopover.

I’ve had moments of crisis when incidents from the past have been preyed on my mind and have been overcome by the shadows I have suppressed.

It’s also been an opportunity to cook my own food, do my own cleaning, gardening and diy.

An opportunity for self-reflection and dreaming. I have for a while dreamt of a world where the key touchstone is human connection, support and tolerance. Where kindness is the main currency. Of late, I have discovered exactly that right here outside my front door. A world where neighbours check in on each other and those on the front line go beyond the call of duty.

I’m discovering that I am still connected to all those I love even though I am not with them.

I’m discovering how much I am loved, missed and valued.

I’m discovering my shadow side and learning to love that too.

I’m discovering that no matter how much stuff I have, it won’t compensate for the connection of two hearts coming together.

Mostly, I have discovered that Peace of mind is a choice I make and keep making every day. I have discovered myself in the acts of service and small moments of connection of strangers who I may never see again. I have discovered that home is not a place but a state of mind. It is a way of being. It is not somewhere else, in a different time in the future or the past, it is created right here, right now in myself and my aura.

Shobana Kataria is interests include writing, reading, the healing arts and sciences, and building a conscious world community. 

All copyright reserved by the author. 2020.