Second class citizen - C. olde Heuvel

Nowhere I have my roots 

I feel like a stranger in my own country

Where is my country actually? 

I live in one and work in the other

Two nationalities 

A Bilingual upbringing 

In one country I am the girl with a German mother

In the other country I am the Dutch second class citizen 

With a different educational background, nevertheless graduated with honours. 

Ridiculous right? 

Discrimination

I've felt it my whole life

Not that it affected me immensely 

But on a micro basis

I've encountered discrimination as refugees who enter our countries do, maybe not in the same weight or as heavy as they'd have

In the villages we've lived. My German mother got shown a Hitler sign while teaching at a Dutch school in the '90s

We've been called names in that village because of having two backgrounds. 

In my own family been looked upon as the kid that talks two languages at home and asked whether I watch TV in my mother tongue and what language I speak whilst at home

When we've visited Germany we were called the cheeseheads "Käsekopf", because of the Gouda and called stingy, because the Dutch are so uptight money wise. 

I've never felt like 100% of something.

Though I've felt the two backgrounds were merital to my education, my upbringing, my work, my hobbies and I wouldn't want to miss them. 

In the end. 

I've coped with it, I got along well. I've surpressed it. 

Now during corona 

Discrimination amongst neighbour countries 

Amongst neighbouring countries that are economically and handelsrechtlich so intertwined, that visit each other yearly during holidays. 

It comes to the surface much more

While working in Germany I'm seen as the Dutch spreading the virus

In Holland I'm seen as the kid with a foreign - German - mother and the one working across the border. 

I feel rootless

In fact I know

I am neither Dutch, nor German, nor French (my grandmother from mother's side is French Alsace region) 

But what I know for sure

I am cosmopolitan

And I can feel and hear what refugees feel when they enter our countries 

That's beneficial and a surplus 

I am a contribution to this world and people in it with my total background irregardless of my nationalities.